6 years ago, I arrived in Las Vegas, NV on the bus with my 3 oldest children, one on the way and a suitcase. I wanted to start over and escape the hurt, pain and shame that had come from the choices I had made. I soon realized that no matter how little baggage that I physically carried with me, I was carrying so much more emotionally. Having escaped a near fatal suicide attempt, I knew I wanted to live but I didn’t know how to release the pain so that I could even breathe. All I knew how to do was to keep going about with my life as if everything was okay.
I found employment within the first two weeks here. My children and I moved into our apartment but it was so hard to make it a home; I was broken. I didn’t know how to surrender all the baggage and issues that I carried with me. They had become so much a part of me, I didn’t know that I could release them and find a greater peace. Things went from good to better and then quickly to worse. My internal turmoil was having external impacts on my life. I lost everything; my career, car, home was all gone. But I had been in that very place before prior to my move. Why couldn’t I be free from all the pain?
I had tried everything to escape and get some relief. Even after being born and raised in the church, I didn’t truly understand how to surrender it over to God. “Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.” I Peter 5:7 I knew the scripture but I didn’t understand how to apply it to my life. I had been taught to keep everything inside. “What goes on in this house, stays in the house” is what laid the foundation for the prison that my soul was being held captive in. I prayed and I cried out to God like never before. I asked him to show me my heart and those things that were causing me to self-destruct.
It wasn’t until I was able to give it all over to Him that I was able to heal. I was able to trust Him completely with all of my issues, heartache and pain. He in turn gave me so much more. He gave me a new life in Him with purpose, vision and compassion for those who may still be suffering. “I show my scars so that others know they can heal.”
This journey has not been an easy one. If you recall my post titled “Don’t Quit“, I was on the verge of throwing in the towel but He whispered “don’t quit”. The blessings and doors that He has opened since have been more than I could have ever expected and they haven’t stopped. On this Wednesday, I fly out to Atlanta to meet one of my favorite gospel artist, Le’Andria Johnson, Sunday Best Season 3 and Grammy award winner. That was nobody but God. I hope that each time I share a portion of my testimony and show my scars, I can inspire just one to keep on holding on, don’t ever give up. God has so much in store for you. He has not and will not forget His promise concerning you. Join the I Show My Scars Challenge, someone needs to see your scars.
I love you and there is nothing you can do about it!
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