Domestic violence awareness can not be limited to only one month out of the year. It is important that we bring awareness to this growing epidemic 365 days a year, 7 days a week and 24 hours a day. With the recent incident that occurred between the Kansas City Chiefs football player, Jovan Belcher and his girlfriend, we need more people like Niyia Whitsett to share their story and also strive to bring awareness.
1. Who or What inspired you to write ‘Scarred’?
Unbearable pain on top of pain inspired me to write the things that I felt were clouding my vision, crowding my mind and hurting my heart. I did not want to snap or give in to chronic depression so I begin to write with some encouragement of close friends. I had the title about 2 years before, I began to write.
2. Describe the writing process.
The writing process for me was bittersweet as I reflected on mainly the painful memories of my life. I would have days in which I was able to get many pages done and the writing was legible and other days the writing was big and ugly or even smeared from the tears falling as I wrote. I would go to bed crying and I could actually feel pain in my chest where my heart is. Sometimes I would wake up in the middle of the night nervous. I can truly say I didn’t think I would finish because it got really hard to re-visit some of my past, but I knew it would be vital for completing it the way God intended it to be told.
3. Did you ever want to just say forget it?
Yes…I would put the pen down for months at a time it took me two years.
4. How has domestic violence impacted your life?
Domestic Violence hindered my self-esteem because it hindered my views of healthy communication in relationships. It forces you to take control, over compensate, mistrust and be defensive even when it isn’t needed first before getting familiar with your surroundings. You begin to expect things to be hard before they’re easy and it is hard to receive love. I witnessed Domestic Violence and it conditioned me without me even knowing so it was certain things that I allowed and took not knowing that Domestic Violence would soon follow.
5. Were you able to reach out to family or friends for support?
No, I was fearful of what they would say or do. I didn’t want to involve them in what I felt was a bad decision.
6. What was your breaking point?
My breaking point was when I began to lose everything I had because I simply had no energy to take responsibility for anything. I didn’t care about what was important anymore and would spend my money or pleasing myself or others temporarily.
7. What message do you want your readers to walk away with?
If I can make it against all odds you can too, If I can avoid turning to drugs, alcohol, suicide, murder etc., so can you…Scars happen and they hurt, but there is a healing process and the pain does cease leaving you with life lessons. We must pass on the healing and not the Hurt.
8. Do you see yourself writing another book in the future?
I do see myself writing another book soon, this book was just a peak into the many aspects of my life. I shared many scars but there is much more than just that I have learned some great things along the way. God has truly endowed my with wisdom and I am grateful for how he has kept me to share just how great He has been to me.
9. What’s next for Uniquely Niyia, LLC?
I am going forth with “HIS STYLE” & the “Speak Out Now” Campaign. HIS style is a posture that will impact, empower and influence how you see the world, yourself and others. It is the Style mission and series of key techniques that will improve your life forever and the campaign is dedicated to positioning posters in strategic places throughout our city to provide effective support and prevention for victims of Domestic Violence.
10. Where can we find you on the web?
Author Niyia Whitsett