It is amazing how little things will cause you to reflect on the bigger things. With my site being blacked out for SOPA, I spent a lot of time away from the internet, very little facebook and twitter. But it caused me to reflect on why I had even started this blog and how censorship could affect it. Yes, for now it may just deal with music or vulgar language, but what if it started to impact a person’s faith and how they expressed their beliefs?
In 2010, life’s changes brought me to my knees. I had spent the previous 10 years of my life literally going through hell. I knew I couldn’t fix it because I had messed up so much on my own. “And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13 I was broken and in need of a breakthrough. I asked God to show me my heart, show me those things that were causing me to self-inflict more wounds. He gave me (3) areas, strongholds, surrendering and transparency.
I didn’t realize that for 10 years, I had been carrying baggage. Baggage that had become stronger than me and weighing heavy, causing me to live in so much guilt, shame and self defeat. It wasn’t until I got honest with myself that I was able to get honest with God and surrender it all to him. The more I surrendered to Him, the good, the bad and the ugly, the more peace and joy began to enter into my life.
So if you wonder why I don’t mind sharing and being open, it’s because I spent years hiding, hanging skeletons in my closet that were strangling me. Through my transparency, I pray that you can witness that power of God when he has his hand on your life. Everyday is not perfect, but each one comes with another opportunity to surrender my will for God’s perfect will.